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Is my husband gay?  Is my wife a lesbian?

You’ve had suspicions. You’re pretty sure, or are positive, that it’s true. You may have caught your wife with another woman, or found gay-porn on your husband’s computer. There are countless red flags that literally millions of straight spouses see; lack of interest in having sex with you, suspicious phone calls, unexplained absences - it can be an endless list. It can blind side you. 

 I’m not gay! 

Sometimes they come out of the closet voluntarily. But some refuse to admit they’re gay, even with solid evidence of their same-sex attraction. They choose to stay on the down-low; having constructed a world of covert sexual behaviors. Their denial can make it seem impossible for you to break free.  

Shock, Anger and Sadness

You feel betrayed and are deeply affected. Often, family, friends and therapists simply can’t relate.

Where can you go for help? 

Right here! We’ve been partners of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender mates. We understand how painful and confusing this is for you. We provide personal, confidential support, information and insight to straight husbands and wives. 

Support is a phone call or email away

 call us at (201) 825-7763, or send us an email using our contact form.

Immediate Support Options

Any communication with us will be strictly confidential. Calls and emails go directly to our Executive Director, Kathy Callori, who returns calls and emails within 24 to 48 hours.

A 14 minute video for all Straight Spouses.

Because Straight Spouse Network Helped Me...

“...there hasn’t been anyone I felt I could really talk to about any of this.  I feel as if I have been trapped in the closet with him.  I have so many questions about how to handle so many aspects of this situation ...The fact that Straight Spouse Network contacted me so quickly is so comforting and uplifting; even though it makes me almost want to cry,  perhaps because I have waited and suffered for so long.  It is amazing to know that I am not alone and someone cares.”
D. in Pasadena, CA

"I am making this donation ($1,000) to celebrate the 5 year anniversary of my husband coming out of the closet. My life is so much better thanks to the support of all of you. Thank you for what you do." – Anon. 

See more personal stories


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How You Can Help

Help New Straights Get the Same Support and Encouragement You Got.

If you can't volunteer, you can help in other ways. Become a GEM to show your support for the Straight Spouse Network and to help other Straights around the world. Learn more here:


  • To explore other options, such as volunteering your time, click here


Tampa Bay Times Article
Exploring challenges of Straight Spouses. Read it here!

Slate E-zine article features SSN
"How Straight Spouses Cope..."
Read it here!

New Book! A Straight Husband's Story
We're very excited to announce the release of  How to Lose Your Wife to Another Woman, by fellow straight spouse, James Oliver Chapman. To read more about this candid and insightful story click here.  >more

Silent Sagas: Unsung Sorrows
Louella Christy Komuves' book and insightful, informative
television interview. >more 

Straight Spouse Network featured in Equal Magazine Article-
Straight Spouse Network was key in creating a “blended family”.>more

Fellow Straight Carolyn Sega Lowengart shares her story with Bethesda Magazine-
During an in-depth interview, Carolyn shares her fascinating journey.>more

Amity Buxton featured on Spot Lite Radio-
Straight Spouse Network founder Amity Buxton was recently featured on Spot Lite Radio talking about the Network, our new website and her new book "Unseen-Unheard: Journey of Straight Spouses."  >more

Documentary Debuts-
"I Thought It Was Forever"
What would you do if you found out your husband or wife was secretly gay?  As you’ll see in "I Thought It Was Forever," the answer isn’t as clear cut as most would think.  Read more on the movie's website.



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Privacy Policy

Individual information is used only so we can get in touch with you and provide you with support and/or resources.  We absolutely, positively will not release or provide your contact information to ANY outside person or agency without your express permission.