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You’ve discovered your husband is gay or your wife is a lesbian. Maybe they came out of the closet vountarily, or you discovered evidence of their same-sex-attraction on your own. Maybe they are being open and honest about it, or they refuse to admit it. But you know, and you’re probably in shock, maybe angry, scared and don’t know anyone who understands. Where can you go for help? 

The Straight Spouse Network is here for you. We have been through it. That’s why we can provide personal, confidential support and information to straight husbands and wives. We’ve been partners of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender mates. We understand how painful and confusing this is for you. We strive to help you make sense of it all and find the support you need. 

Once you're ready to reach out, call us at (201) 825-7763, or send us an email using our contact form.  

Any communication with us will be kept in the strictest confidence. Calls and emails go directly to our Executive Director, Kathy Callori, who returns calls and emails within 24 to 48 hours. 


An Important Message from Kathy Callori,
Executive Director

A true hero isn’t measured by the size of his strength, 
but by the strength of his heart.” Walt Disney’s Hercules

For most people, the superhero exists in movies and comic books. While watching Disney’s Hercules with my niece recently, I realized that I have the privilege of knowing and working with real heroes every day. They may not have super-morphing cars, a red cape, or climb up the sides of buildings, but they do save lives every day.....Perhaps Paul D. can sum it up best: “This organization was there for me when I was at the lowest point in my life. They understood what I was going through and put me in touch with others who shared my experiences. I truly believe they saved my life.” >more



A 14 minute video for all Straight Spouses.


“...there hasn’t been anyone I felt I could really talk to about any of this.  I feel as if I have been trapped in the closet with him.  I have so many questions about how to handle so many aspects of this situation ...The fact that you have contacted me so quickly is so comforting and uplifting; even though it makes me almost want to cry,  perhaps because I have waited and suffered for so long.  It is amazing to know that I am not alone and someone cares.”                D. in Pasadena, CA

See more personal stories


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Straight Spouse Network featured in Equal Magazine Article-
Straight Spouse Network was key in creating a “blended family”.>more

Fellow Straight Carolyn Sega Lowengart shares her story with Bethesda Magazine-
During an in-depth interview, Carolyn shares her fascinating journey.>more

Amity Buxton featured on Spot Lite Radio-
Straight Spouse Network founder Amity Buxton was recently featured on Spot Lite Radio talking about the Network, our new website and her new book "Unseen-Unheard: Journey of Straight Spouses."  >more

Documentary Debuts-
"I Thought It Was Forever"
What would you do if you found out your husband or wife was secretly gay?  As you’ll see in "I Thought It Was Forever," the answer isn’t as clear cut as most would think.  Read more on the movie's website.

How You Can Help

The Straight Spouse Network is primarily staffed by volunteers. All services are free but with increasing demand for our services, we depend on your generosity for continuing the cause of straight spouse support.

  • To make a direct monetary contribution, please click hereDonate
  • To explore other options, such as volunteering your time, click here



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Privacy Policy

Individual information is used only so we can get in touch with you and provide you with support and/or resources.  We absolutely, positively will not release or provide your contact information to ANY outside person or agency without your express permission.