Comments for Str8 Talk -- The Straight Spouse Network Blog http://www.straightspouse.org/blog Sun, 05 May 2013 23:25:16 -0700 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.5 Comment on Carolyn Moos – We Are Proud of You by Straight Spouse http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1145#comment-100006 Straight Spouse Sun, 05 May 2013 23:25:16 +0000 http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1145#comment-100006 Jo - its so important for us to share our stories safely. It makes many people uncomfortable, but we do matter, we have needs, and it takes time to heal. Thanks for speaking up. Jo – its so important for us to share our stories safely. It makes many people uncomfortable, but we do matter, we have needs, and it takes time to heal. Thanks for speaking up.

]]> Comment on Carolyn Moos – We Are Proud of You by Straight Spouse http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1145#comment-100005 Straight Spouse Sun, 05 May 2013 23:23:48 +0000 http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1145#comment-100005 Ann - just wanted to say thank you for all that you do, and have continued to do for those of us who walk this path. You have had a long journey, and many of us can attribute some of our healing to YOUR courage, YOUR strength, and YOUR willingness to put yourself out there. Thanks. Ann – just wanted to say thank you for all that you do, and have continued to do for those of us who walk this path. You have had a long journey, and many of us can attribute some of our healing to YOUR courage, YOUR strength, and YOUR willingness to put yourself out there. Thanks.

]]> Comment on Carolyn Moos – We Are Proud of You by Jo http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1145#comment-99697 Jo Sat, 04 May 2013 16:33:32 +0000 http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1145#comment-99697 Yes, and all of us ARE proud of you and each of us who lives with this experience. BUT no one wants to interview us, to learn the impact this has had on us and our children for the long term and this is wrong. There are two sides to this story and we Str8 Spouses are left to pick up the pieces from the train wreck with no laws to protect us during our divorces. There are no laws to protect our families and children when so many of us, after years of marriage, are left alone and our gay spouses move on with their well prepared for lives - prepared for during their marriages to us. We are a silent group that society has failed. Yes, and all of us ARE proud of you and each of us who lives with this experience. BUT no one wants to interview us, to learn the impact this has had on us and our children for the long term and this is wrong. There are two sides to this story and we Str8 Spouses are left to pick up the pieces from the train wreck with no laws to protect us during our divorces. There are no laws to protect our families and children when so many of us, after years of marriage, are left alone and our gay spouses move on with their well prepared for lives – prepared for during their marriages to us. We are a silent group that society has failed.

]]> Comment on Carolyn Moos – We Are Proud of You by Ann http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1145#comment-98484 Ann Thu, 02 May 2013 12:29:13 +0000 http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1145#comment-98484 Dear Carolyn, I sit here beside you today as an example of your experience. My husband of 21 years was gay. Unbenounced to me. I know how you feel right now. Angry, hurt, sad, disappointed, dissillusioned and invisible. Mostly, invisible. Did Oprah and our President speak about your courage and your strength? You will find courage in the days ahead. Reach out to us at the Straight Spouse Network and we will support you and encourage you. I really believe my life was saved by SSN. We will hold your heart in our hands...Hugs Dear Carolyn, I sit here beside you today as an example of your experience. My husband of 21 years was gay. Unbenounced to me. I know how you feel right now. Angry, hurt, sad, disappointed, dissillusioned and invisible. Mostly, invisible. Did Oprah and our President speak about your courage and your strength?
You will find courage in the days ahead. Reach out to us at the Straight Spouse Network and we will support you and encourage you. I really believe my life was saved by SSN. We will hold your heart in our hands…Hugs

]]> Comment on Up a Creek Without a Paddle by sherry http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1056#comment-6157 sherry Sun, 22 Jul 2012 01:35:28 +0000 http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1056#comment-6157 Just found out that my boyfriend that claimed to have loved me is on the dl i found out through an email account of his. I asked him about it and ofcourse he lied. I moved out but i am still trying to process the initial shock and the pain of being lied to somebody please tell me something good. Just found out that my boyfriend that claimed to have loved me is on the dl i found out through an email account of his. I asked him about it and ofcourse he lied. I moved out but i am still trying to process the initial shock and the pain of being lied to somebody please tell me something good.

]]> Comment on Up a Creek Without a Paddle by cathy http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1056#comment-6071 cathy Thu, 19 Jul 2012 20:57:08 +0000 http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1056#comment-6071 Thank you for this note. My husband just came out to me after we have been so happily married for 11 years. However, it doesn't want a divorce. He wants to stay married. He loves me. He loves our life. As I continue to process the shock, I want to believe that he & I can have a completely happy marriage. Sounds like you and your wife do and I congratulate you for that and bless you for sharing your story. Thank you for this note. My husband just came out to me after we have been so happily married for 11 years. However, it doesn’t want a divorce. He wants to stay married. He loves me. He loves our life. As I continue to process the shock, I want to believe that he & I can have a completely happy marriage. Sounds like you and your wife do and I congratulate you for that and bless you for sharing your story.

]]> Comment on How to Come Out to Your Husband or Wife by Penny http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=93#comment-5927 Penny Tue, 17 Jul 2012 16:23:44 +0000 http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=93#comment-5927 Dear John, I so feel for you. I was recently told by my boyfriend of 22 years that he is gay. I am 54, and a large woman, so it has devestated me. Another twist, I am married to someone else. My husband has basically been my brother, and my boyfriend like a husband. I am so freaked out. We have agreed to stay together platonically and monogamously (he has not had relations with a man), but I am stunned. I wish the best for you. I will probably get divorced from my husband/brother now, and will be totally alone. I hope you find love where and when you need it. Dear John,

I so feel for you. I was recently told by my boyfriend of 22 years that he is gay. I am 54, and a large woman, so it has devestated me. Another twist, I am married to someone else. My husband has basically been my brother, and my boyfriend like a husband. I am so freaked out. We have agreed to stay together platonically and monogamously (he has not had relations with a man), but I am stunned. I wish the best for you. I will probably get divorced from my husband/brother now, and will be totally alone. I hope you find love where and when you need it.

]]> Comment on A Safe Space by Santia http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1041#comment-5741 Santia Wed, 11 Jul 2012 22:40:06 +0000 http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1041#comment-5741 Annie-- you wrote this post a while back, I don't know if you are still needing resolution. There is definitely a big difference between your ex's sexual orientation and the abuse/dis-respecting other's boundaries. There are two things I find always help in abusive relationships: 1) Return all the stuff that has been dumped on you. There has been all the emotional stress and thoughts of your ex's unresolved life lessons about respect which you and even your daughters are weighed down with. Visualize a large bucket, and fill it with all the thoughts and emotions -- everything that you took on from your ex. Then when it is full and you feel complete, return the bucket -- visualize handing it over-- to your ex's higher self or soul. 2) Bind your ex to his spirit guides or angels. Visualize a golden net, and then wrap him in the net and tie it to his spirit guides/angels. You can also tie the net to the root or source of his unresolved life lesson about boundaries and respect. The point of doing this is to limit his ability to dump his unfinished karma onto you or your daughters. Annie– you wrote this post a while back, I don’t know if you are still needing resolution. There is definitely a big difference between your ex’s sexual orientation and the abuse/dis-respecting other’s boundaries. There are two things I find always help in abusive relationships:
1) Return all the stuff that has been dumped on you. There has been all the emotional stress and thoughts of your ex’s unresolved life lessons about respect which you and even your daughters are weighed down with. Visualize a large bucket, and fill it with all the thoughts and emotions — everything that you took on from your ex. Then when it is full and you feel complete, return the bucket — visualize handing it over– to your ex’s higher self or soul.
2) Bind your ex to his spirit guides or angels. Visualize a golden net, and then wrap him in the net and tie it to his spirit guides/angels. You can also tie the net to the root or source of his unresolved life lesson about boundaries and respect. The point of doing this is to limit his ability to dump his unfinished karma onto you or your daughters.

]]> Comment on Affirmation by Sarah http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1082#comment-5187 Sarah Sat, 30 Jun 2012 22:07:16 +0000 http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1082#comment-5187 Rob I appreciate your comments about being a married man who is Bi. Two weeks ago my husband of 13 years told me he was attracted to men and always had been and he is deeply in love and attracted to me. I have been struggling with how this could be true or even possible. Your descriptions of how you feel about your wife and your continued attraction to men have brought me hope that maybe this may not be the end of what has been a fabulous marriage. sarah Rob

I appreciate your comments about being a married man who is Bi. Two weeks ago my husband of 13 years told me he was attracted to men and always had been and he is deeply in love and attracted to me. I have been struggling with how this could be true or even possible. Your descriptions of how you feel about your wife and your continued attraction to men have brought me hope that maybe this may not be the end of what has been a fabulous marriage.

sarah

]]> Comment on Tyler Clementi and Us by Peggy http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1097#comment-5110 Peggy Thu, 28 Jun 2012 22:46:36 +0000 http://www.straightspouse.org/blog/?p=1097#comment-5110 Yes I agree with Mary, it is a gross invasion of privacy straight or gay. I also would be mortified is someone did that to me, I cannot the things people do to others all supposedly in the name of a "joke" Yes I agree with Mary, it is a gross invasion of privacy straight or gay. I also would be mortified is someone did that to me, I cannot the things people do to others all supposedly in the name of a “joke”

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