Monthly Archives: February 2009

The Health in Us

Posted on February 26, 2009 by Straight Spouse

Among str8 spouses, getting healthy is a big interest. Mentally healthy, emotionally healthy, physically healthy. It’s part of healing. For some, getting on the path to healing means getting out of the way of abuse first. All the focus on forgiveness, healing, moving forward does no good if you keep getting rewounded. Reclaiming old friendships, making new friends, and planning on time to enjoy social events, company, fun, laughter, and new celebrations are all great ways to help us heal and move forward. For some, a renewed emphasis on spirituality, religion, or a new direction in faith leads to a centered wholeness that heals the spirit. For others, it’s a new job, new residence, new city. Renewal is also part of healing. Continue reading →

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Recovering and Rebuilding our Female Heterosexual Selves

Posted on February 18, 2009 by Straight Spouse

For straight ex-wives of gay men, harsh feelings and bad memories come up at the strangest times. We lose weight, and buy new clothes. We try a new hair color, get a makeover. Then the memory comes back of the last time we bought something new,attractive, sexy – the memory of a husband not noticing, and then telling us it just didn’t make us look special, sexy, attractive. Or the memory of a husband recoiling and demanding to know why we were spending money and behaving foolishly. The sleek new clothes went into the closet, along with our own heterosexual female sexual expression. Continue reading →

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Telling the Children

Posted on February 15, 2009 by Straight Spouse

There’s no easy way to tell children about separation, divorce, or any change in the family. And regardless of whether a mixed orientation couple decides to stay married or separate, there’s no easy way to tell a child that a parent is homosexual. Continue reading →

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What About Our Children?

Posted on February 12, 2009 by Straight Spouse

Straight spouses often find that their questions about how to best support our children are often unanswered. For most children of all ages, including adult children, the initial question upon disclosure that one parent is gay is “What happens to our family”? Younger children want reassurance that they will continue to live in a stable environment, and they’ll want answers concerning how much they will see mom and dad, just like in breakups where both parents are heterosexual. There are support groups for children of gay parents, but there appears to be little organized direct support for children of mixed orientation marriages, regardless of which parent they reside with. Continue reading →

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