Monthly Archives: October 2009

Hate Crimes and the Absurd

Posted on October 27, 2009 by Straight Spouse

Pauline Howe, 67, is the wife of a Baptist minister living an apparently ordinary life in Norwich. When a gay pride parade was held locally, she showed up to participate in a counter demonstration. After the demonstration, she wrote a letter to the local council, expressing her displeasure that the demonstration had been allowed to happen at all. OK, so she’s not going to be your gay husband or wife’s best friend. Or your gay child’s best friend. She’s probably not interested in being your best friend either. But does that make her guilty of a hate crime? Continue reading →

Posted in General Information | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Why It’s Different From “Regular” Divorces

Posted on October 23, 2009 by Straight Spouse

So just because your spouse has left you for someone of their same sex, you shouldn’t think you are any different from anyone else, right?

Wrong. It is different. Way different. For the straight spouse, anyway. Continue reading →

Posted in General Information, The Down Low | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Future Outlook

Posted on October 20, 2009 by Straight Spouse

Well, like it or not, my husband came out of the closet, wants out so that he can start his life over and the sooner it happens for him, the better. I could fight it, dig in with both heels. Stall things or bring them to a screeching halt. Hang out for a few more years if I feel like it. But I don’t want to do that. The trouble is, I never saw myself as a divorced person. After 24+ years of marriage, one would think that things wouldn’t change dramatically. But life goes on, whether I agree with the premise or not. Continue reading →

Posted in Family Issues, Healing and Moving Forward | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

National Coming Out Day – Free Us From Someone Else’s Closet

Posted on October 11, 2009 by Straight Spouse

Today is National Coming Out Day. For the straight spouses of closeted gay people, this has special meaning. Closets stifle us and our families. When we have to keep the secret of a gay spouse, and pretend to the world that all is well, that things are really just as they appear, it stifles us. Some of us keep those secrets for personal reasons, others for professional reasons. The secret has a cost to everyone who keeps it.

For the straight spouse whose husband or wife denies being gay while showing a sexual attraction to the same sex, the closet is particularly stifling – and dangerous. Many straight spouses of such people have found that once we know the secret, either through discovery or disclosure, great efforts are directed at keeping us silent – or should we choose to emerge from the marital closet, making sure that what we say is unbelievable. Continue reading →

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No Applause – Just Send Money

Posted on October 4, 2009 by Straight Spouse

There. I don’t know how much more plain I can make it. The Straight Spouse Network needs money, badly. The Straight Spouse Network cannot exist without money.

Our last appeal so far has netted a grand total of $3000 . We have approximately $10467.00, to our name. Approximately $10,400 of that amount sits in a CD. That’s enough to operate for 1 /1/2 months. If no more donations came in other than the above, SSN has about 4 months of life left. Think about a day without SSN… no a lifetime with no SSN which is where we could be headed. No website, no phone contact, no F2F groups and much more. NO ONE WILL SUPPORT US IF WE DO NOT SUPPORT SSN OURSELVES. So stop whining and put your money where your mouth is. Put up or we will be shut up.

YOUR CHOICE. Continue reading →

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