Ever have the feeling that your therapist just doesn’t get it? For many straight spouses, that’s a common issue. In both private and couples therapy, straight spouses often feel like their stages of grief and resolution are denied or misunderstood – and being in a position of doubting their own perceptions, they need the affirmation from a good therapist that their feelings and observations are valid.
Therapy for mixed orientation couples and for straight spouses is an emerging specialty. It’s important when looking for a therapist to find one who is tuned into your issues, not a preconceived idea of whether or not your marriage should continue or end.
If you think your therapist is not a good fit, ask them if they have read The Other Side of the Closet by Amity Buxton, or if they are familiar with the emotional stages she has described of anger, grief, and recovery. A good therapist for a straight spouse understands the need for confirmation, affirmation, and reality checking – and is skilled at dealing with the profound grief and anger we experience as we move forward on this journey.