Tag Archives: closeted homosexual

National Coming Out Day – Free Us From Someone Else’s Closet

Today is National Coming Out Day. For the straight spouses of closeted gay people, this has special meaning. Closets stifle us and our families. When we have to keep the secret of a gay spouse, and pretend to the world that all is well, that things are really just as they appear, it stifles us. Some of us keep those secrets for personal reasons, others for professional reasons. The secret has a cost to everyone who keeps it.

For the straight spouse whose husband or wife denies being gay while showing a sexual attraction to the same sex, the closet is particularly stifling – and dangerous. Many straight spouses of such people have found that once we know the secret, either through discovery or disclosure, great efforts are directed at keeping us silent – or should we choose to emerge from the marital closet, making sure that what we say is unbelievable. Continue reading

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The Monkey in the Closet

When recovering from the power of an abusive individual, many people find it helps to visualize that person as a cartoon character. If visualizing a cartoon character is your coping strategy for dealing with an abusive closeted homosexual husband or wife who insists that YOU will pay for even thinking such a thing, let alone mentioning it, we have a pretty good cartoon character for you. The effect that long term closeted denial by a homosexual spouse has on the straight husband or wife is sort of like the effect the Evil Monkey has on Chris in the cartoon “Family Guy”. Continue reading

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