In the United States, today is Election Day.  If you have not done so already, please take the time today to vote. 

We won’t tell you how to vote.  That is for you to decide. But please, exercise your right to vote. 

Your vote is your own.  You don’t have to tell anyone how you voted if you don’t want to.  Or you can tell everyone how you voted and why.  You don’t have to explain your vote to anyone. Just vote.  It is your right. 

This election has been said to be the most important one of a lifetime.  We have clear choices, and an unprecedented turnout is expected.  Participate in what may be one of the most significant events of the early 21^st century.  Vote in the presidential election of 2008. 

If they give you an “I voted” sticker, wear it proudly.  If you have time and opportunity, stop by Starbucks and/or Krispy Kreme for some election day freebies.  Be proud.  Be American.  Be a voter.

As Election Day is upon us in the United States, close attention is being paid to efforts to outlaw gay marriage in three states.  The most contentious and well funded debate is in California, where the matter is to be voted on in Proposition 8.  The other two states, Arizona and Florida, have proposals on their ballots to amend state constitutions, clearly stating that marriage is only legal between men and women. 

Straight spouses come from many different walks of life, political visions, religions, nations and cultures.  As the preeminent source of support for heterosexual men and women who have discovered that their spouse is gay, the Straight Spouse Network opposes attempts to make gay marriage illegal through constitutional amendments.  These efforts require great funding, debate, pressure, and tend to polarize communities.  These efforts do nothing to serve or protect our families.  They do nothing to make our children safe from threats and taunts at school.  They do nothing to dedicate the tremendous resources of faith organizations toward recovery, support, and healing for straight spouses. 

Straight spouses of gay people are family too.  Our children are family too.  So defending families seems to ring hollow when ours are not included in the well funded efforts to strengthen families.  This is true not only of the right wing, but the left wing as well.  Depending on location, straight spouses often perceive themselves as being indirectly excluded from groups that support gay people and their families, largely by being ignored and unacknowledged. 

How is a straight spouse supposed to reconcile lifelong and unshakeable faith in a religious tradition, when the governing body of that religion is spending tons of money to pass or fail Prop 8, but spends no money, time, or attention on the crisis of faith for the straight spouse?  How does a straight spouse move forward within that faith community when no one will acknowledge their perspective, their reality, their solutions to family communications? Telling the straight spouse that gay rights will make the problem go away, or prayer will change their gay spouse, is not truly addressing the straight spouse’s complex and ongoing need for acknowledgement and tolerance of their process.

Not all mixed orientation marriages would be avoided with legalized gay marriage, but if the option of marrying were available to gay couples, it would be much more difficult to justify marrying someone of the opposite sex and carrying on deception.