Tag Archives: Gay Marriage

How Gay Marriage Affects Us

Same sex marriage becomes law in New York on July 24. No, gay marriage won’t eliminate all mixed orientation marriages like ours – but it will affect OUR marriages. Here’s how. Continue reading

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“You’re Damn Right I’m Biased”

My whole goal is to try to open people’s minds by talking to them about my life experiences being raised by a gay parent. Yes, I am ‘biased’ as they say, but I have a right to be. Now I ask you to ask yourself, wouldn’t you be if you were me? Continue reading

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How Does the Prop 8 Ruling Affect Straight Spouses of Gay People?

You can read all about the legal decision in California, upholding gay marriage, and overturning the referendum against it. There’s very little written or spoken about how we straight spouses and straight partners are affected. These realities haven’t come about in our lives BECAUSE of gay marriage. They’re already there, consequences of our “one man-one woman marriages” which were also “one gay-one straight marriages”. Continue reading

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Straight Spouse, Gay Marriage – a Family Question

Proponents and opponents of gay marriage all have their own arguments about what happens to our families, and how gay marriage will affect society. Those arguments never include us, unless of course, it is necessary to present some “collateral damage” to sustain an argument. Like the rest of America, the heterosexual men and women who are or have been married to gay and lesbian people are not unified on this issue. It seems to be one of those mine fields that many of us avoid, where we’re told how we OUGHT to think and feel. Continue reading

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OK, It’s Only a Beauty Pageant…

It’s certainly not confusing to say that you believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman. Miss California’s position on that is clear. But since when is California in a different country from Vermont? And if people have a right to choose, what was Prop 8 about? It’s not a question where an honest answer is going to please everyone. Continue reading

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The Gathering Storm

There’s a storm brewing, and the Stepford folks are bringing us the weather report.

Recently in response to current developments in courts and legislatures across the USA, The National Organization for Marriage posted a video, warning of a scary, dark cloud storm – mainly the gist of it is that if gay marriage becomes law, their lives will be affected. You can see the video here. Continue reading

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Straight Spouses and Their Families: A Morality Tale

It’s time to go back to the beginning, I think, to clarify why straight spouses need to be heard in the current conversations about social justice swirling around us. It is not because they are overlooked, which they are. Rather, straight spouses want desperately to share their wide lens on what happens to their families when their husbands or wives come out. Every family member — they, their gay or lesbian partners, and their children — is hurt by antigay sentiments and action, such as constitutional amendments and laws that limit legal marriage to that of a man and women. Continue reading

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Life After Prop 8

The defense of marriage as a union between men and women only goes on and on – with no acknowledgement of what our marriages are or were, and no interest in finding out. No interest in acknowledging our families and the dilemmas we face in reconciling the practice of our faith with our knowledge of this unique experience, no interest in affirming the directions in which our families can move forward, healing, building bridges with each other.
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Defending the Family – Straight Spouses and Gay Marriage

As Election Day is upon us in the United States, close attention is being paid to efforts to outlaw gay marriage in three states. These efforts require great funding, debate, pressure, and tend to polarize communities. These efforts do nothing to serve or protect our families. They do nothing to make our children safe from threats and taunts at school. They do nothing to dedicate the tremendous resources of faith organizations toward recovery, support, and healing for straight spouses.

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Defending Marriage in Connecticut and California

With all of the challenges to the traditional institution of marriage, it is difficult to see how the legal marriage of two men or two women to one other threatens traditional heterosexual marriage. We would much prefer that those who wish to defend marriage would begin to acknowledge the existence of the straight spouses among them, and open their ears, their hearts, and their minds to the various perspectives of all who have experienced the painful deception of struggling to fit the mold of a heterosexual marriage when they are really in a mixed orientation marriage. Continue reading

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