Lori Sand (GA) President

Lori Sand became involved with SSN in 2001 after her husband of 12 years came out. Now divorced with two children, she has been interviewed both locally and nationally about straight spouse issues. She and her ex have worked to maintain a positive parenting relationship for their children. On the Board since July of 2005, Lori is a pediatric occupational therapist.

Sam Cheney (PA) Vice - President

Sam's ex came out to him in September of 2000, and he found SSN shortly thereafter. “The people I met,” he says, “saved my sanity, and as a result I'm resolved to give back.” Since becoming part of SSN, he has been involved on various steering committees, the Advisory Council, the Board, and is a group leader in the Philadelphia area. Sam also created and moderates the SSN Forum. Sam is the immediate past president of the board having served as president from July 2007 to July 2009.

Amber Eisele (TN) Secretary

Amber became involved with the Straight Spouse Network in 2004 after her husband of 18 years came out. She has re-married (another Straight Spouse) and between them they have 5 children/step-children.

Amber hopes to raise awareness so that no one feels isolated upon having a spouse come out and wants to give back to the organization that has done much to help her and her husband.

Amity Pierce Buxton (CA) Founder - Non-voting Board Member

With a Ph.D. from Columbia University, Amity spent twenty years developing curricula and training teachers for urban schools and nationwide teachers' centers. After her husband came out in 1983, the San Francisco Gay Fathers asked her to write a book to help them understand why their wives were angry. Widening her research to include straight husbands and spouses of bisexual partners, she interviewed Jane Vennard, chair of PFLAG's Task Force for Straight Spouses. After The Other Side of the Closet was published, Jane turned over the Task Force to Amity, as did Sue Christensen, chair of the National Organization of Straight Spouses. Amity then transformed the combined organizations into the Straight Spouse Network. She served for six years on the board of the Family Pride Coalition, for three years on SSN's board, and was SSN Executive Director from 2002-2007.

Amity lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. She lectures and conducts workshops here and abroad, gives interviews for diverse media, and writes journal articles and book chapters detailing her research. An understanding and perceptive authority on the post-disclosure experience of straight spouses or partners of gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender mates and mixed-orientation couples, she focuses sensitively on coping stages, sexual addiction, effective counseling, and the strategies couples develop to maintain their marriages or move on.

Please see Amity's Founder Page for more information!

Mary Austin (MN) Board Member

In 1979, after 17 years of marriage, Mary's ex sought help for his deepening depression. It took four anguished years to break through denial and conclude he was gay. It was another closeted eight years before Mary found a straight spouse to share the story and really "get it". Knowing the destructiveness of such extended isolation and wanting to ease the burden for others, she has been a group leader and regional contact and is now a First Responder. She's had a few years experience in research and teaching sociology, some board chairmanships, and was a Founding Member of Duluth's PFLAG chapter. A camera, cross country skis, a potter's wheel, a kayak, and a bicycle refresh body and soul.

Carolyn Sega Lowengart (MD) Board Member

Born in Germany when her father served in the US Foreign Service, Carolyn lived in Europe until she attended Middlebury College, where she earned a BA degree in Political Science. She worked for 33 years in management at the US Department of State, and was married to a closeted gay man for the same length of time.

Diana Roberston (MN) Board Member

Diana is an ordained Protestant minister and works as a Chaplain and Manager of the Spiritual Health Department of a Regional Hospital in the Twin Cities of Minnesota. She has an earned doctorate in spiritual direction. Some of her specialized training and experience is in grief counseling, emergency management (disaster response), crisis management and multicultural awareness. Diana had been married for 28 years when her husband came out to her in 2003. Since that time, as a single woman, she has experienced a renaissance of physical health, emotional well-being and renewed self-esteem. Raised in Kansas, she has also lived and worked in Oklahoma, Nova Scotia and Minnesota. Ask her about her grown daughter, new granddaughter (Aug. 08) and cool dog Dorie. Her special interests are piano, landscaping, reading, knitting, gourmet cooking, hiking and bicycling. Diana hopes her skills in grief support, crisis management and reclaiming life will serve other straight spouses in their journey.

Daphne Selvaraj (IL) Board Member

Daphne has been involved with SSN since 2006, shortly after discovering her husband's true sexual orientation.

She is currently the group facilitator for the Chicago face to face groups in the city, as well as being a supportive presence for many newbies during that difficult time when they discover their spouse's sexual orientation is not what was previously assumed. She has also been a liaison between local Straight Spouse Network face to face groups, and local PFLAG groups.

Daphne has worked in an architecture firm for many years. Before that, she had internships at Leo Burnett and various local radio and TV stations, worked in a psychologist's office, and held jobs in the retail and hospitality industries.