Pages Navigation Menu

Flawed Laws: Tennessee and Uganda

Posted by on May 18, 2011 in Blog | 0 comments

Let’s get something straight here.  We’re straight.

We’re not gay, lesbian, transgender, bi, or questioning our sexuality in any way.

We’re the heterosexual people who discovered the person we married is gay, or the person we’ve been in a “significant other “relationship with forever is gay.  We’re not part of the “gay agenda” by a long shot.  In fact, for many gay people, we’re highly inconvenient.

It appears that our children may soon become highly inconvenient in Tennessee, if the bill to restrict teachers from mentioning homosexual lifestyles in grades K-8 passes the state senate.  Tennessee’s family life curriculum only mentions heterosexual lifestyles, and many parents, including straight spouses, want to keep it that way.  This  legislation takes it further, forbidding teachers, counselors, and school staff from speaking ABOUT the gay lifestyle.

Hmmm.  If the curriculum ain’t broke, why does the legislature see fit to “fix” it?  No one in Tennessee is teaching the gay lifestyle.  At present, children of gay and mixed orientation families can still come to teachers and counselors with family issues and be heard and counseled, even though they are in families that are outside the curriculum.  Bullies can be told to STOP bullying them for having a gay parent, and the reason can be discussed by the teachers and counselors whose job it is to end bullying.

Funny, no one is putting a muzzle on the bullies who make our kids lives miserable.  But when our kids want help because someone is hassling them for having a gay dad or a lesbian mom as well as a straight parent, well, no one can discuss the gay lifestyle with them – or with the bullies who persecute them.  HEY BULLIES!  FREE PASS!  YOU CAN TORTURE A CHILD WHO HAS A GAY PARENT AND NO ONE CAN TALK ABOUT THE REASON BECAUSE SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THOSE PEOPLE!!!!!

When  our kids have difficulty adjusting to their parents’ divorce because one of their parents is having sex with someone of the same gender, or adjusting to their gay or lesbian step parent’s house rules, will they be able to speak to a teacher about their problem – and have the teacher speak back?  Or will the teacher or guidance counselor be silenced by law from acknowledging the problem, because it’s not allowed to be discussed?  What happens when the other kids discover that a child has two mommies – and are told by their parents that they can’t play with that child – and this affects the playground?  Oh, teacher, mommy says I can’t play with him but I can’t tell you why.  Teacher, the other kids won’t play with me because I have two moms, or two dads.  Teacher, I went to my dad’s new house on Saturday and he has a new friend who sleeps in the same bed and it’s all so strange.

Silence by trusted adults tells our children that THEY are strange, and that they have an (cough cough, sputter, ahem!) UNMENTIONABLE family.

So those of us who are straight spouses and ex spouses of gay people, and our children, will just have to buck up and take it.  After all, this doesn’t happen to NICE people.  If your mom remarries a guy who is verbally abusing you, the school can help.  That’s a step family issue of course, and pretty common among NORMAL people. But if mom lives with a woman who is her lover who verbally abuses you, well, tough, kid, we just can’t talk about families like yours.  (Unless she’s sexually abusing you, then it’s open season of course) You could pretend your lesbian stepmom is your aunt, and then we can all be legal.

At least the lawmakers in Tennessee and the rest of the USA have not quite gone as extreme as Uganda’s parliament.  The Ugandan bill we told you about last October that would make it a crime punishable by death to be gay was supposed to be voted on today.  After over 2 million signatures on global internet petitions and a threat by the United States to withdraw foreign aid if it passes, the bill mysteriously disappeared from the agenda. Then it appeared rescheduled for Friday, minus the death penalty clause.

Imagine this:  Teacher, I don’t like the guy my dad is dating.  Well, ok son, we can fix that.  We’ll just hang em high.

OK, we know, that’s Uganda, not Tennessee.  But we wonder – if school counselors are muzzled from acknowledging the family life of students in informal situations, or directly addressing the cause of student distress over bullying or family dynamics, how much more violence, abuse, and harassment will continue against heterosexual  spouses and children of gay people without so much as a word to turn it away?

Yes.  We exist.  We really do.  And right now, we are not part of ANYONE’S agenda.

Read More