Book Review: The Way Men Heal by Tom Golden, LCSW
By Ron Exler
Men deal with their emotions differently than women. One area that affects straight spouses is how we heal. Because like it or not, we each experience a loss that involves, hopefully, healing. Men generally show less outward emotion – but it’s there. How we deal with the loss, and the healing, makes a big difference in our lives.
But many men don’t know how to deal with their emotions. As children, many of us were taught “don’t cry like a girl” and “get that frown off your face” when our emotions surface. But girls could cry – that was “normal.”
Well, according to Tom Golden, there is a masculine side of healing used by both men and women. His latest book, The Way Men Heal takes us through the process of healing from the male perspective. Golden draws from his decades of experience counseling men and other research to provide an easy 54-page read. Whether you are a man, or there’s a man in your life, this book is a way to start understanding how we heal. There’s also a chapter for therapists, many of whom apparently don’t necessarily understand the process of masculine healing.
Sometimes men dealing with loss are difficult to comprehend. They might show little emotion or withdraw. The combination of social norms and gender-based differences lead to a masculine side of healing. Regardless of our gender, we can help ourselves and the men in our lives by being aware of how men heal.