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Questions Concerning Faith

In this section:

  • My faith community teaches that homosexuality is wrong.
  • My faith community is not supportive of me.

My faith community teaches that homosexuality is wrong.

This is a difficult struggle for many new straight spouses. More and more churches and temples are now "open and affirming" of people who have same sex attractions. However, a large number still teach that homosexuality is wrong.

If you have grown up in a faith that teaches that homosexuality is wrong, it can be hard to reconcile that you are , or were, in love with a person who is homosexual. We see a large number of spouses struggle with this issue every day. For many it becomes a crisis of faith. Each person deals with this crisis in their own manner. Some leave churches or synagogues to find a place of worship that is more welcoming. Some attempt to change their house of worship from within. Still others continue to follow the teachings of their house of worship and become even more distant from their LGBT spouse/ex-spouse.

No one here at the Straight Spouse Network will tell you what to believe. Religious choice it is a highly personal decision. What we will do is try to offer you support as you decide what is right for you.

My faith community is not supportive of me.

Even if you participate in a faith community that does not teach that homosexuality is wrong, you may find less support than you had hoped for in your house of worship.

This is similar to the situation where you find that your friends and family aren't as supportive as you think they might or should be. Frequently this is a case of people just not knowing how to be supportive. They may want to be supportive, and know how to be supportive of a newly "out" LGBT person, but don't know how to be supportive of straight spouses like us who are affected by the disclosure.

In a crisis of faith, each spouse will need to navigate their options for themselves. In any case, we will be there to be supportive of you.