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How You Can Help

How You Can Help

The Straight Spouse Network is a volunteer, non-profit organization. Our goal is to help fellow Straight Spouses around the world. To continue that work, we need your help.

The majority of time spent supporting the Straight Spouse Network and its mission comes from dedicated volunteers. Their countless hours of giving support and maintaining support groups is all free to all, but with increasing demand for our services, we depend on your generosity for continuing the cause of Straight Spouse support.

We have a very small and dedicated paid staff, all of whom perform professional services, and are Straight Spouses themselves. Many times they do not bill for all the hours they put in. We understand your situation because we have  been through it ourselves. So we make every effort to operate as efficiently as possible to provide the level of support to help you though these difficult times. Like most of us, you are probably bombarded with requests for donations for many of the causes out there. We are only as strong as the support we give one-another. If you are fortunate enough to have the ability to give back, you know it is for an amazing cause.

Every donation counts, no matter the size. To make a donation online, see SUPPORT THE STRAIGHT SPOUSE NETWORK on our Home page.

As the Straight Spouse Network is a 501 (c)(3) organization, a portion of your donation may be tax deductible.


An Important Message

“A true hero isn’t measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart.” Walt Disney’s Hercules

The term “life-saver” comes from Straights like you. “To suggest that the Straight Spouse Network is a ‘lifesaver’ is not hyperbole. It is a fact. I am living proof. When my former husband of nearly 30 years told me he was gay, I prayed to die in my sleep….
My life changed in so many ways as a result of my relationship with Straight Spouse Network” –Patti.

“Straight Spouse Network
helped me move through a
very difficult process. It is
an extremely isolating situation.
The fact that some wonderful
Straight person is willing to be
on the other side of a screen
or the other end of a phone
conversation is invaluable.
Being able to cry and laugh
about the circumstances
that arise is so important.”

Sadly, we know that every day there will be more people who discover their wives are lesbian or their husbands are gay. With societal changes, gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals and transgenders are more comfortable coming out. When they’re married to Straights, more pleas for help come to us.

The Straight Spouse Network has over 140 Support Group Facilitators and Facilitator Contacts worldwide. Our Facilitators lead face-to-face groups, and we have Support Contacts in areas where there are no Facilitators close by. Groups and Support Contacts are key in helping Straight Spouses cope with emotional devastation. They realize they are not alone, meet others who have been on the same journey and find support and hope.

One straight spouse writes: “Straight Spouse Network helped me move through a very difficult process. It is an extremely isolating situation. The fact that some wonderful Straight person is willing to be on the other side of a screen or the other end of a phone conversation is invaluable. Being able to cry and laugh about the circumstances that arise is so important.”

We maintain an international, virtual online community; our website,, chat rooms, message boards, blogs, phone-staff, group leader training and ongoing research.

 Thank you Volunteers,  for being life-saving heroes in the lives of so many other straight spouses. 


Other Ways to HelpVOLUNTEER


Straight Spouse Network
If you are interested in becoming more involved with The Straight Spouse Network, please consider applying to be on our Board of Directors, or on our Staff as Communications Director.

BOARD OF DIRECTORS   2 to 5 available positions
Applicants should have experience in:

Development • Communications • Marketing • HR • Finance • IT
The Board meets via teleconference for monthly business meetings and more often when necessary. For a complete list of a Board Member’s responsibilities click Board-Roles-and-Responsibilities-approved-2011-04-12. To apply, please contact Ron Exler,



    To be a group facilitator, you should be a straight spouse, who ideally has been in one of our support groups or in communication with one of our support contacts for at least two years, and have reasonably resolved your marital issues. You should have a strong desire to help and support others. You agree to respond to all of our messages and directives. You’ll receive the Facilitators Handbook which is your training guide, answers your questions and includes important policies. Our veteran facilitators are always willing to help you along the way. Apply to volunteer as a Straight Spouse Network Contact / Straight Spouse Network Group Facilitator.
  • Become a Straight Spouse Network Volunteer – If you have a specific skill or experience in areas like accounting, fund raising, media connections, writing/research or other attributes, please contact us for volunteer opportunities.
  • Talk to Us:  We value value your feedback and comments, so please use our Contact Us form to let us know your ideas, suggestions, feedback, etc.
  • Distribute Brochures:  We have brochures and other collateral material available to distribute at appropriate locations.  Use the Contact Us form to let us know if you are interested.
  • Be a Speaker –  The Straight Spouse Network Speakers Bureau is looking for straight spouses willing to speak on our behalf. We are regularly contacted by media looking for individuals to be interviewed. We also have speaking opportunities at conferences and other events. You don’t have to be a professional to share your experience, you just need to be comfortable speaking publicly and content of your presentation must be appropriate. All speaking engagements must be approved. If you are be interested please email our Communications Director,


Work of the Central Staff (99% volunteer). What the money buys, in descending order of cost.

  • Part-time paid work of four staff (salaries, taxes) – Executive Director, Technical Director, Communications Director, Communications Assistant. Total FTE: Less than two. Note: These staff members put in far more hours on a volunteer basis than those for which they receive salary.
  • Insurance (required by law) for directors of non-profit corporations.
  • Part-time work of an accountant for IRS 990 report (required by law).
  • Maintenance of main website, which contains incredible amounts of information which requires constant updates (
  • Production and editing of monthly News Blast and semi-annual newsletter News&Notes.
  • Postage for fund raising appeals, newsletter, thank you notes, brochures, and Founder’s research articles (majority now sent electronically).
  • Maintenance of Listservs for Board, Advisory Council, Facilitators (leaders), Contacts, and Staff so each can be contacted.
  • Maintenance of database on all of the above so each can be contacted.
  • Workroom for Facilitators, Contacts, Advisory Council, Board and Staff including a Facilitators Handbook, brochures, etc.
  • Responses to inquiries from media (newspapers, radio, television) for speakers, Speakers Handbook.
  • Press releases, Facebook page, other publication efforts.
  • Maintenance of the Straight Spouse Network Blog which gets us out there (on website).
  • Responses to an average of 2,000 help requests yearly. Each of you has had referrals from First Responders.
  • Maintenance of database on donors.
  • Thank you notes for donations.
  • Post Office box.
  • Paper and supplies.

The Straight Spouse Network benefits when you use one of these fine services:

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