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Who We Are

The Straight Spouse Network (SSN) is an international organization that provides personal, confidential support and information to heterosexual spouses/partners, current or former, of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender mates and mixed-orientation or transgender/non-transgender couples for constructively resolving coming-out problems. 

In 1986, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (now Parents, Families, and Friends –PFLAG) formed a Task Force for Spouses of Lesbians and Gays, with regional contacts, a few support groups across the country and England, and a packet of procedures and article reprints for group facilitators. In 1991, the leaders of the Task Force and an independent National Organization of Straight Spouses that had a newsletter turned them over to Amity Buxton, who combined and expanded the organizations into a worldwide network of support, education, and advocacy for straight spouses of gay, lesbian, or bisexual partners and mixed-orientation couples.

More specifically, we are:

  • Current and former straight spouses and partners of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people
  • Post disclosure couples
  • Our families and friends


Our Mission

We serve straight spouses, post disclosure couples, families and the community by:

  • REACHING OUT to increase visibility of straight spouses and accessibility to support

  • HEALING and empowering straight spouses to cope constructively

  • BUILDING BRIDGES between spouses, within families and with the larger community through support, education and advocacy

Revision Approved by Board of Directors, September 14, 2010.

  • REAFFIRMED: December 6, 2011


Position Papers

From time to time the Board of Directors of the Straight Spouse Network will issue position papers regarding Straight Spouse Networks Inc's position on Social Issues that affect Straight Spouses. 

  • Sexual Conversion Therapy and Transformational Ministries:
    A Position Paper of the Straight Spouse Network

    While respecting the rights of individuals to make their own informed decisions, the Straight Spouse Network opposes conversion therapies and transformational ministries. Not only are these therapies ineffective in most cases, in some cases they may be harmful. Psychological harm to the gay, lesbian, or bisexual partner has been documented. The straight spouse is offered a false sense of hope, which can lead to a deep sense of betrayal with resulting psychological harm. Therefore, from the perspective of straight spouses of gay, lesbian, and bisexual partners, SSN supports only therapies and ministries that enable gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals to accept themselves and to choose their actions with integrity and truth. In addition, SSN endorses efforts to promote societal acceptance of homosexuality and of gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons as human beings worthy of respect, social justice, and equality. At the same time, SSN does not condone any actions that might put anyone else's health, life, or well being at risk, including closeted same-sex activities of gay, lesbian, or bisexual persons in mixed-orientation relationships with straight partners.

    Approved SSN Board of Directors: March 11, 2008

  • Same Gender Marital Unions:
    A Position Paper of the Straight Spouse Network

    The Straight Spouse Network supports the legal right of any adult to form a marital union, with all its rights and responsibilities, with a chosen partner of the same gender, rather than struggle to fit the mold of a heterosexual marriage in which everyone involved gets hurt. From the straight spouse's perspective, codifying marriage as legal only if it is between a man and a woman, as has been proposed or passed in constitutional amendments across the country, serves to perpetuate hurtful consequences and pain for gay, lesbian, and bisexual spouses, straight spouses, and their children.

    Board Approved: November 8, 2006
    Reaffirmed: April 10, 2008


 Further list of Position Papers  Straight Spouse Network Position Papers